COMPETITION––A rival procession, we understand, is to be got up to-morrow by a rival establishment. As we have no objection to such a manifestation of patriotism, so long as the procession does not interfere with our route, we cheerfully give place to the program in our paper, in order that the public may know what is going on.
The procession will form along the tow-path on the hole-path side, its left limb on Commercial street bridge and its right limb on the canal enlargement at Black Rock. The people who contemplate joining in the procession are especially desired not to wear the clothes they've got on now, but their best ones. The following will be the
ORDER OF PROCESSION
GRAND MARSHAL OF THE DAY,
on a roan horse.
State Superintendent of Schools, with a quill over his ear,
and a mammoth inkstand––on foot.
Music––"Heavy stroke" Polka.
The uncommon members of the
The candidates for the office of Mayor,
Two hundred and thirty of them.
Music––"Come ye disconsolate."
Our sagacious Emigrant agents.
Music––"Erin go Unum."
"E Pluribus bragh."
Our esteemed pocket-book droppers.
Ballou's Pictorial and
Fanny Fern's new story, $100 a column
Hammond, of the Albany Register,
with an extra from Virginia.
Music––"Dead March in Saul."
Delegation of people who subscribe fore Shakespeare
People who vacillate between "To fuse or not to fuse,"
with a banner.
Motto––Anything for success,
The rest of the subscribers of the Buffalo Evening Post,
who could not find places in the other procession.
Music––"Hard road to trabbel."
"That Yaller Pike."
Editor of the Cincinnati Commercial, with a model of a
cotton boat and a slave stampede.
City Ice House.
Our beloved Canal Collector.
View of the Packet Dock, done with yaller paint.
Marrowfat Pea Band.
Individuals that attend stores and live within their means;
only one of 'em.
Carson League Bank.
The Elmira Republican and its Editors.
Morning Express and Commercial Advertiser, arm-in-arm
The local editor of the Commercial drawing a sled.
Our principal milliners.
The difficulties on the Brantford Railroad.
Dick's Patent Switch.
Fourteen thousand Emigrants–-all Know-nothings.
Young Men with great expectations and
Our eminent "watch stuffers."
The social door-guards at the Metropolitan Theatre.
Our talented pickpockets.
Our principal and unprincipled lawyers––two of the for-
mer––the balance of the latter.
One of the hundred eyes of the Albany Argus, looking
vindictively and ferociously for a political position.
Music––"Look ober here––look ober dar,
Look right ober yonder."
Our principal Western Editors,
in hand carts drawn by "devils."
Editors of Chicago Democrat, Tribune, Times and Press
" of Milwaukee Wisconsin, Sentinel, Times & News.
" of Detroit Democrat, Advertiser and Free Press.
" of Cleveland Herald, Plaindealer and Express.
" of Sandusky Mirror, and the other paper.
" of Toledo Republican and Blade.
" of St. Louis Democrat and Intelligencer.
[The people of Buffalo need not be alarmed at the presence of these suspicious individuals, an extra force of the police having been detailed to watch them closely to prevent their "picking up things." Any one of them found with skeleton keys, jimmies, or pocket-book cutters about them, will be immediately ducked in Big Buffalo creek.]
Music––"Button up your coats, and watch all your pocket books."
The eminent individual that writes Complimentary Benefit Correspondence.
Our principal cheese mongers.
Our esteemed horse jockeys.
Music––"John Gilpin" Quickstep.
Principal editors of the Albany Atlas, bearing 'the stone that the builders rejected.'
[It is expected that before the procession reaches the terminus of its route, "the stone" will be mysteriously "drapped."]
The Editor of the Rochester Union,
calling for "Girls!"
Music––'There's nae luck about the house.'
The superintended of building the New Court House,
playing an Architectural Jig on the fire alarm bell.
Our respected canal drivers, and
Our eminent bar-tenders.
The G.A.S. gentleman that would not accept the Lieutenant Governorship of the State at the hands of the Know-Nothings.
Our wealthy cashiers.
Our darling brickmakers, with banner,
Motto––'Richard's bound to shine.'
Watermelon Band, playing
'Away with melon cholic.'
Our principal telegraph operators,
drinking nitric acid smashes, and oil of vitriol punches
Our Celebrated Artists and Processors,
Scissor Grinders, statute builders in plaster, Veterinary
Doctors, lime and color displayers, shoe polishers,
hair ornamenters, clock repairers.
The man that invented the Shanghai Rooster.
The inventor of Sarsaparilla, dispensing health to deranged and damaged awyers.
That good locking Man, Hollis White, bearing a banner on
which is inscribed,
Contracts of the Canal Enlargement.
Our Principal Chinese Juglers.
One of the cars of the Great Western Railroad containing
our estimable and gentlemanly agents, clerks, captains,
stewards, and obliging porters and boot blacks
drawn by four spotted horses.
"Gus" Flanked by the editor of the Telegraph and candidate
for Sheriff on one side and late county
Treasurer on the other
in a private Car.
Fifteen Little Niggers representing the dark spots in
our glorious confederacy. Banner "To
this complexion must we come
A line of one-horse buggies drawn by police constables,
carrying miserable vagrants to the "comforts
of a home in the Poor House.
Air––"Corn Law Rhymes."
During the procession the following optical illusions will be presented:
TABLEAU, LABOR––represented by strong armed, powerful sinewed Bank clerks accompanied by horny palmed cashiers and presidents of Banks, Fat bellied ease, and stubborn luxury, indolence, happiness.
TABLEAU, CAPITAL––Starving men, haggard females, shoeless and shirtless children, eyeless old age, decrepid youth, disease, famine, misery, death.
The rear will be brought up by dry goods clerks, fugitive slaves, hackmen, cab-drivers, wood sawyers and their clerks, oyster butchers, green grocers, book-keepers, guano merchants and the inhabitants of Podunck. No person from Erie admitted into the procession upon any pretence.
Young mothers can safely take their children in the procession, as liberal provision had been made to keep a constant supply of Pennyroyal and other herb tees warmed during the match, for little babies.
ROUTE––The procession will close up at nine o'clock into hollow squares, and march out to the lighthouse and fish for the dinners, black bass having commenced biting. A special force will accompany the procession, carrying grid-irons and lucifer matches. No swearing allowed, as it may interfere with the catching of fish. If no fish are caught, the procession will proceed to the beach and camp out for supper.
Owing to circumstances, and the tightness of the Common Council, the fireworks will not come off until one year from to-morrow.
Bean la patriotique.
Sheep-heads, boiled in Niagra water.
Pork, squeal taken out.
Venison, Tansey sauce.
Leg of Bear, from Kansas.
Sea Gulf, larded with Eagles' wings.
A small piece of the Union that was saved at Castle Garden.
Patriotism, epaulettes, small swords, bowie knives, pocket pistols, 4th of July Orations, squibs, blue fire, red sashes, gilt buttons.
Ginger Pop, Ginger Wine.
Sarsaparilla Beer, Soda Water.
Catnip Tea, Tanzey Bitters.
"Competition," Buffalo (NY) Daily Republic, July 3, 1855, p. 3